So this post has absolutely nothing to do with food, but everything to do with the person who bakes the stuff here. If you choose to skip this one, I wouldn’t even know, so go for it.

Oh hey, chin band-aid.

I’ve never been a graceful girl. At age 12, I was one of the tallest kids in sixth grade, and as a result, I still feel awkwardly tall. I haven’t grown since then and am a pretty average height (5’6″), though. Still, the awkwardness remains and most often presents itself as clumsiness. Sometimes it’s just a loss of balance and I am able to catch myself. Other times, I’m not so successful and just hope I can play off landing on my ass.

It seems like the older I get, the more epic my falls become. While hiking an easy path in New Zealand a few years ago, I face-planted after tripping over a little rock. My elbow, knees, and hip were the landing zones, receiving some pretty fantastic scrapes and bruises. Not horrible, though.

Fast forward to a little over a year ago when I was volunteering at the closing party of a film fest. It was late, I was tired, and while walking to the festival van I was driving, I tripped on the sidewalk. This time, my chin got the worst of it and as a result, it looked like I had been shot in the face. Blood was dripping pretty impressively all over the place. Of course everyone lost it when they saw me and called an ambulance. I ended up only needing five stitches, but now I have a faint chin scar that is just begging for a better story.

The most recent tumble was last December. I had just driven to Houston with a friend and we were hoofing it from my car to the Toyota Center where we had a soundcheck with Trans-Siberian. Being much shorter (ironically) than him, I was having to walk pretty fast to keep up. Naturally, I tripped right in front of the stadium. I seemed to have landed on my viola case, which cracked my rib and made playing the shows pretty unbearable. (The viola was still in tune, thanks to its well-made Italian case. I need a case for my person.) Believe it or not, that’s the only bone I’ve ever fractured.

Just based on those events, I sound like a certifiable klutz, right? However, I also somehow lost the ability to run and jump sometime within past few years, which is just bizarre. (Walking and using machines at the gym aren’t issues, thankfully.) Since then, I’ve seen three neurologists and have had numerous tests – MRIs, lab work, a spinal tap, and tests involving lots and lots of electrodes and needles – only revealing that everything seems normal, so far. I mean, that seems good, but it’s also perplexing.

Maybe I really just am super clumsy, or maybe you’ll hear about some new neurological problem in the future with my name on it. Not that I’m hoping for that…